Demons of Conditioned behaviour
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.
J. Krishnamurthi
“One believes things because one has been conditioned to believe them.”
Aldous Huxley
As early as 1930, Aldous Huxley, English writer and philosopher wrote about the dehumanizing aspects of industrial revolution and scientific progress. In the novel ‘Brave New World’ set in dystopian London, he portrays a society operating on the principles of mass production and Pavlonian conditioning.
Almost a century down the line the prophetic words of the intellectual are ringing true than ever before. More people died last year from suicide than from Covid in Japan. A Buddhist country, the rest of the world looks up to for spiritual knowledge, productivity, discipline and longevity. But sadly, none of these grand virtues will make for well-being if the mind of the person is not addressed.
The brain is a powerful organ which works furiously all the time in its quest for survival. Although we have come a long way from being foragers and are living in utopian times, yet the reptilian brain which is concerned with self-preservation refuses to let go. We have to shift gears to ascend Maslow’s pyramid to access creative abilities and altruistic potentials once the survival needs of an individual are met. But the damn voice in the head keeps buzzing. More is never enough!
The ‘factory culture’ in the society which is externally oriented and customer centric makes it difficult for one to disentangle from its collective narrative. Everyone is trying to sell something to another. Relationships are materialistic. It has not even spared the educational system. Kids are stuffed into little boxes and made to believe that if they do not top the class then they are not good enough. If they do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend in their teen years then they are weird. If they do not get into an elite college then their future is dismal. It is big business.
Such belief systems have led to the increase in crime and suicide rates of children. As a teacher, I have seen their rebellious energy when made to confirm to the protocol of the classroom. There is an inherent need for children to be free and express their personalities and to be accepted for that. The ‘moulding’ of kids in schools is a loaded term. Who moulds? Into what? A square peg that falls into the slot?
With BYJU’s app, next door tuition aunty and premium classes by school teachers, school hours have become playtime. More often than not, the teacher has to become an entertainer and baby-sitter rolled into one whose strings are pulled by all the stakeholders of the system.
I had gathered sufficient conditioned thinking and behaviors over the five decades of my existence. My day used to roll out in clockwork precision and predictability. I went through the motions of life in an orchestrated manner like a cog in the wheel.
A working woman or a ‘Service’ person gets positive strokes from the society, family and friends. I really don’t remember when the familiar routine became mechanical and boring. Corporatization of educational institutions has drained the spontaneity of the system. To my perception it is no more a happy space where culture and humanity is celebrated. It is a rat race to roll out a number of tasks that makes for an impressive ‘Have done list’. It has become a competitive platform, a market place where each school somersaults and vies for admissions.
As days went by, I could no longer ignore the stereotype cliques and mediocre politics. The fact that some teachers were overburdened while others had time to feast, fool and cosy up was no comfort. I decided to quit the nine to five culture. But as I said earlier, I underestimated the ranting of my conditioned brain.
Judging Judy came alive telling me that now that I had no job to go to, my life was over. Voices and opinions I had heard began playing in my mind. I looked at my cell phone for orders to flash to get me on the next job. I was used to an external locus of control and sat for hours on end for someone to give me orders!
There was no alarm bell to wake me in the morning and give the cortisol rush for the day. There was no putting on the paint to look good and fresh. There was no exhaustion to tell me that I had worked hard to make the day count. Mocking Mathew began whispering that I had made a mistake perhaps.
I became aware of the conditioning that I had subjected myself to in order to be a good worker. I had been programmed to conformity. While there were many around me who knew how to relax with a deadline hanging over their heads, here I was with conditioned voices telling me, “ Do what you can do today, lest tomorrow never comes”. “You have to strive for excellence.” By no means, the adage is bad. The good girl in me had imbibed all such lofty behavior patterns that made me a people pleaser, validation seeker and a follower whose buttons were at the reach of Tom and Thelma around me.
And if you have a boss whose idea of education is increasing the school revenue and teachers are just a means towards that end, you can forget about any brownie points for your work ethics! A shirker and you are painted with the same brush and the system becomes a cesspool of toxicity.
I went through an intense period of self disruption to find myself buried under all the rubble of remote control and conditioned belief systems. The arduous task of catching the conditioned programs running at the back of my mind was revealing. One by one, I shut them down. My focus and memory for things other than the regular stuff I was teaching improved. Overthinking and second guessing myself had crept into my mind insidiously, and so had hypertension.
Like a hermit, I began the task of disentangling myself from role identification to take back the controls of my life. I vowed to set myself free from the self-limiting belief system, outdated values and conditioned behaviours that made me a pawn in the hands of power- mongers and take my territory back.
Ambitious for Happiness, Health and Freedom.
I began meditation in a big way and learnt as much as I could about conditioning and psychological manipulation used by those higher up in the hierarchy to control. One year down the line, I am glad I have breaked free!
Free to breathe the air of liberty every morning while I enjoy a brisk walk to the music of birds in the bushes. Free to walk with my head held high outside the prison of my own making. Free to have late nights and take off on a tour whenever I want to.
On the flip side, I now have the responsibility of managing the time on my hands productively. Creative talents are finding an expression. I am beginning to enjoy the sweetness of the hard decision I made one cold January to set myself free from the tyranny of the 9 to 5 culture.
You may have such experience of your own too..
PN: To be unbiased, I don’t think all 9 to 5s are tyrannical. But if you have a tongue- lashing boss who thinks she knows it all and draws conclusions at the drop of the hat. If you have a boss who drops her weight every time she speaks and loses no opportunity to tell you that you better fall in line or walk out. Or if you have a boss who says you wouldn’t be there if you could do any better, then if you are like me, you wouldn’t be happy working in such a place.
